Thursday, March 16, 2006

Exclusive Interview with John Scott Himself!

You guys are in for a huge treat! I know I am... as soon as I book that flight to Japan! ;) Anyways...I was able to snag a super exclusive interview with John Scott, and I am going to share it with you today! Read on for all the information you've always wanted to know about John, but were too afraid to ask!!

Here it is, and yes it is real:

ME: I and the Ruggedly Handsome John Scott Fan Club members would like to thank you , John, for taking the time to sit down with us (virtually) for this interview. Ok, now let's get down to business.

Since you've become famous, you know, getting featured in Wall Street Journal and like bajillion online blogs and websites, how has your life changed? Particularly, how do you handle all the girls throwing themselves at you?

JOHN: Well, nothing’s really changed that much. Women have always thrown themselves at me, along with their underwear and nudie pics, but that is just part of being in the SEO industry. SEO is like an aphrodisiac to many women.

I am trying to pace myself, though, you know no more than three women a day. No women on Sundays, or national holidays. I take my obligation to the sexual health of women seriously, but even I need a day or two off now and then.

ME: Do you have a personal assistant that answers all your fan mail? If not, are you looking for one?

JOHN: Actually, I am accepting applications for personal assistant. Please send your resumes to, be sure to include height, weight, breast size and pictures of the rear view.

ME: What is your favorite food? Is it true you live off a bowl of rice per day?

JOHN: I do indeed live on one bowl of rice a day. Well, and a couple pizzas and cheeseburgers.

ME: I noticed you've done some modeling in your younger days. Can you tell us about that?

JOHN: I modeled for a few Japanese magazines, but it wasn’t a big deal. In Japan pretty much any blond could model back then, even if they were less than grade A beef.

ME: Did you ever do any underwear modeling, or nude modeling perhaps? If so, please provide pictures. If you did not, why not do some for me right now?

JOHN: Never did any nude modeling. I was asked to do an adult movie when I was 16, but declined. I would love to streak, though. Looks like lots of fun.

ME: Speaking of hot photos….Would you be willing to set up a Webcam, you know so we can watch 24/7?

JOHN: I already have a cam set up, but it’s just for Ferre. He has a slight crush on me, you know. :P

ME: If you could have a conversation with someone, either living or dead, who would it be and why?

JOHN: Matt Cutts, doped up on truth serum, and I’d ask him to explain every ranking factor Google uses.

ME: What are you wearing right now?

JOHN: Navy blue boxer shorts and a white tank top.

ME: Ok, on to the most important question………..

Will you be the father of my child? Oh heck, will you have 10 kids with me? I'll even move to Japan and eat rice.

JOHN: Of course. I am pro-sex all the way. ;)


At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Bjorn Solstad said...

Heh. What can I say. John is really becomming BIG. Right? I guess it would be wice to not be to hard on those cheeseburgers John..


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